*This post is a bit of a ramble to clear my mind. Sometimes, writing it down and letting it out brings clarity, at least that’s what I hope.
It seems, I’ve always been drawn to teaching in one way or another.
When I was a little girl, maybe 6 or 7, I would line up my dolls and stuffed animals on the bed and “teach” them.
When I was a little bit older, I would sit at a table, in the sunshine, in my grandma’s garden and scribble in one of the old ledger books that she had unearthed somewhere. I made grade books with class lists – they were always my classmates names – and I would fill them with grades that they received for imaginary assignments. I painstakingly worked at those books, making sure they looked as close as possible to the one my elementary teacher had on her desk.
When I was in middle school, I sometimes would imagine what it would be like to stand in front of a classroom of students and be like one of my favorite teachers. But those imaginings were usually fleeting, as my brain was filled with boys and boy bands and more “important” things than what the future held.
When I moved here and started high school my dream of becoming a teacher was reawakened. I loved the German teacher at my high school and she truly inspired me.
When I started college, I went with the intention of becoming a high school language teacher – German and French – and once I finished my Associates in Arts degree and transferred to university I changed my major to German with a minor in French.
I never finished my Bachelors degree.
I met my husband and my life went in a different direction. I become a mom and then a wife and then a mom again, twice more. I love being a mom and I loved being able to stay home with my children. But now, my youngest is starting school and this mom is having a case of empty nest syndrome.
I had hoped that after working as a camp counselor this summer, that by the beginning of school I would be gainfully employed as an assistant teacher but that was not to be.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve done a LOT of thinking, some days maybe too much, and I’ve had a few bad days wondering why I didn’t get hired and just feeling miserable because of it. But after talking to the husband, my mom and some friends, I managed to pull myself out of my sad mood and figure out what it is I want to do.
Some days it’s so clear and then something happens and I’m not so sure anymore. It’s confusing and I don’t like to be confused.
I decided, while I am home, I will concentrate on learning more about web site design by immersing myself in html and css classes I found online and getting certified by W3Schools. I’ve often talked about my desire to learn more about blog design to be able to do more and be more independent and less reliant on themes.
Part of me really wants to become a blog consultant for WordPress and social media.
But there is always that other part that wants to be in a room full of kids…
After having kids myself, I’ve changed my original goal of becoming a high school teacher and found myself gravitating towards the littles – preschoolers. The two times I returned to the work force for a short time I was a preschool teacher for 4 and 5 year-olds. And I love that age group, there is so much going on in those little minds and hearing the “I love you, Ms. Susi” just melt my heart each and every time.
There are a few things I’m going to look into once the kids are in school and depending on what comes of those things will determine my next steps. I wish, I had a more specific path to follow but I guess, knowing where I want to go but not exactly knowing how I’ll get there is better than nothing.
Once I have some answers, I’ll know what fork in the path to choose. I do know that one way or another I want to go back to school and earn my Bachelors of Science in Early Childhood Education because I do believe that the part of me that is drawn to teaching will always be there.
Thank you for letting me ramble on and clear my mind a bit.