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Looking for my future

August 25, 2013

future quote

*This post is a bit of a ramble to clear my mind. Sometimes, writing it down and letting it out brings clarity, at least that’s what I hope. 

It seems, I’ve always been drawn to teaching in one way or another.

When I was a little girl, maybe 6 or 7, I would line up my dolls and stuffed animals on the bed and “teach” them.

When I was a little bit older, I would sit at a table, in the sunshine, in my grandma’s garden and scribble in one of the old ledger books that she had unearthed somewhere. I made grade books with class lists – they were always my classmates names – and I would fill them with grades that they received for imaginary assignments. I painstakingly worked at those books, making sure they looked as close as possible to the one my elementary teacher had on her desk.

When I was in middle school, I sometimes would imagine what it would be like to stand in front of a classroom of students and be like one of my favorite teachers. But those imaginings were usually fleeting, as my brain was filled with boys and boy bands and more “important” things than what the future held.

When I moved here and started high school my dream of becoming a teacher was reawakened. I loved the German teacher at my high school and she truly inspired me.

When I started college, I went with the intention of becoming a high school language teacher – German and French – and once I finished my Associates in Arts degree and transferred to university I changed my major to German with a minor in French.

I never finished my Bachelors degree.

I met my husband and my life went in a different direction. I become a mom and then a wife and then a mom again, twice more. I love being a mom and I loved being able to stay home with my children. But now, my youngest is starting school and this mom is having a case of empty nest syndrome.

I had hoped that after working as a camp counselor this summer, that by the beginning of school I would be gainfully employed as an assistant teacher but that was not to be.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve done a LOT of thinking, some days maybe too much, and I’ve had a few bad days wondering why I didn’t get hired and just feeling miserable because of it. But after talking to the husband, my mom and some friends, I managed to pull myself out of my sad mood and figure out what it is I want to do.

Some days it’s so clear and then something happens and I’m not so sure anymore. It’s confusing and I don’t like to be confused.

I decided, while I am home, I will concentrate on learning more about web site design by immersing myself in html and css classes I found online and getting certified by W3Schools. I’ve often talked about my desire to learn more about blog design to be able to do more and be more independent and less reliant on themes.

Part of me really wants to become a blog consultant for WordPress and social media.

But there is always that other part that wants to be in a room full of kids…

After having kids myself, I’ve changed my original goal of becoming a high school teacher and found myself gravitating towards the littles – preschoolers. The two times I returned to the work force for a short time I was a preschool teacher for 4 and 5 year-olds. And I love that age group, there is so much going on in those little minds and hearing the “I love you, Ms. Susi” just melt my heart each and every time.

There are a few things I’m going to look into once the kids are in school and depending on what comes of those things will determine my next steps. I wish, I had a more specific path to follow but I guess, knowing where I want to go but not exactly knowing how I’ll get there is better than nothing.

Once I have some answers, I’ll know what fork in the path to choose. I do know that one way or another I want to go back to school and earn my Bachelors of Science in Early Childhood Education because I do believe that the part of me that is drawn to teaching will always be there.

Thank you for letting me ramble on and clear my mind a bit.

xo, Susi

 

 

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  • Claudia August 26, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    Follow your path, which ever way it will lead you, and don’t give up on your dreams. You have a wonderful family to support you who has your back. So, go and get your BS in teaching and take it from there!

    Before I jumped on the wp bandwagon, I actually wrote my website completely myself in HTML and CSS, which was fun. But at some stage I figured that content is more important to me and learning to code really beautiful e.g. sliders got too complicated to do part time. So I got wp to show content and with my little webdesign knowledge I can still tweak a theme here and there myself. Works for me, but might not be right for you. So, go ahead ramble a little and move forward!

    • Susi August 26, 2013 at 10:03 pm

      Thanks for the encouragement Claudia. I do enjoy learning html and css and it seems to come fairly easy to me – it’s definitely something I’d like to add to my arsenal. But getting my degree is tops on the list!

  • Kerry August 27, 2013 at 6:55 am

    I hope whatever it is you decide to do in the future makes you extremely happy and fulfilled. I can understand wanting to teach young children, their minds are incredible things 🙂
    Good luck to you in going back to school, you are very courageous after all this time of being a mum to want to finish your education and do something else. Have a great day Susi! Hope your kiddos are settled back into school and little one is still enjoying Kindergarten xo

    • Susi August 27, 2013 at 10:37 pm

      Thanks, Kerry. I’ve always known that I want to finish my degree but I’ve just not been 100% sure what it is I want to do. I’m still not sure but figure I’ll get there.

  • Rorybore August 27, 2013 at 11:03 pm

    I’m kinda right there with you on that path these days. My youngest starts school full time next week too…..and I suddenly will have an empty house every day. I have to return to my old job for a short period of time — but I know deep down that is not where I want to remain any longer than I must. For me, it’s always been writing. And with an empty house I will have LOADS more time for interrupted writing, except: right now that doesn’t bring any money into the house. so…….. yep, crossroads. what to do?
    Part of me wanted to teach kids too – in my case, reading/writing – but I didn’t really enjoy being in the classroom every day. I find my Sunday School class is enough for me. And yep – it’s the ages 4 to 5. They are the best!

    • Susi August 28, 2013 at 11:20 am

      And that’s exactly it. As much as I would love to continue on and do what I’ve been doing – taking care of the house, be here when the kids come home and figure out how to make a few bucks blogging – it’s just not enough…

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