Is everything okay?
Mommy, what’s the matter?
I don’t know how many times I heard that question today.
My answer, each time: “Nothing!”
Because, really, there is nothing wrong.
But everything is wrong.
Today, I felt the over-whelm of working full-time and trying to take care of my family, the house, the pets. There aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done and I know, I should cut myself some slack. I know, I can’t do it all. But when you are in the middle of scrubbing up yet another mess, and folding your up-tenth load of laundry, your mind has time to wander…
It wanders to the next task that needs taking care off, the next mess that needs cleaning and when you think, okay, enough for today, and you are ready for a well-deserved shower, you walk into your bathroom and see the dirty grout in the shower that you meant to take care off but didn’t get to.
Today, that did me in. Everything I did, was followed by a thought of something else that needed to be done, something else that DIDN’T get done.
And when you ask your children to please, straighten up their rooms and empty out their garbage and maybe, put some clothes away and it is met with rolling eyes and indifference, well, that just adds to the over-whelm.
So, instead of opening the flood gates, and letting it all out, I told them: “Nothing!”
Because, when you feel this way, it’s either suck it up and deal or loose your sh**.
I didn’t have time to loose my sh**, I still had to go to the store before meeting grandma for dinner.
In the big scheme of things, it shouldn’t matter what my house looks like and if the shelves are a bit dusty. But it bothers me, I want my house to be clean and neat and tidy. And it used to be…
But now, I’m gone 10 hours out of everyday and there is only so much time to take care of things once I get home.
So yeah, it’s “nothing” and everything – even if it is just in my mind!
Do you feel the over-whelm? How do you deal with it?